Thursday is procrastination day

As usual I'm waiting for a painting to dry so I can add the next layer, and I thought why not get my blog post out of the way?

Well today I managed to do a whole lot of nothing. Woke up okay again. At least balance wise. Felt a little off for about 3-4 hours in the morning, but it wore off by lunch time. It wasn't bad, but I just felt blah.

After lunch though I felt normal. Which was really nice. Especially since I had great ambitions of having a very productive art day. After last night's success, I was all ready to go. Yet... somehow, I procrastinated enough that I didn't get downstairs until after 9 pm!

I spent almost the whole day surfing around on art blogs, updating my blogs, flickr account, and joining new art sites. It was all art related, and even though it took up the whole darn day, I feel it wasn't entirely wasted. I am getting myself out there, people are starting to know me, follow my blog, and give me encouragement. Plus it's a huge inspiration to see other artwork.

Oh yeah, we did get out of the house today. I almost forgot. We went to the store, where I had no issues at all! I even wandered by myself. Then Matt had to go to the bank, and I wandered into the hardware store looking for wallpaper. Not that it was a big trek, it's right next door, but still I went by myself. Afterwards we went to the coolest antique store in town. I'm not usually big on antiques, but I was looking for stuff that I could alter, or use in collages.

This building is over 100 years old, and really cool, it has about 20 rooms, or so it seems, and a huge garden area all full of twists and turns and junk galore. You could almost get lost there, Matt and I want to make our yard and house like that it's pretty awesome.

I found a couple neat things there, and after about an hour we finally got back home. Now here's where things get confusing. While I felt fine, and was busy at the blogs again, somehow I had a meltdown. Matt said something to me, and I felt like he sounded angry, and all of a sudden I couldn't stop crying.

I hate that! Especially since it wasn't expected. But once it started, I started thinking all kinds of bad things. I'm ugly, not good enough, Matt would be happier without me, my anxiety is ruining our marriage, etc. You get the picture. It was a mess. I so didn't want to talk to Matt about it, and wouldn't tell him what was going on for a while.

When I finally did, I felt really stupid telling him what was happening, especially since I was so normal earlier.

It's all good now. I'm not sad anymore, I guess I just need to get that out, even though I didn't know I had it.

Anyhoo, I'm finishing a collage right now, for Anne of Cleves Henry the Eighth's 4th wife. I've been wanting to do this since last year during my Tudor obsession. For some reason I rememberd tonight and decided to give it a shot. It's not exactly what I was expecting, but I think it will be pretty cool in the end.