Please, I'm getting seasick already

Well. Things went bad after I posted last night. Actually it was fine, until right before I wanted to go to bed, then I started feeling the balance problems again. All I was doing was sitting in bed. Hardly a dangerous activity.

When I went to lay down though, oh boy. I really felt like crap. If I stayed still long enough the sensations would subside, and I did manage to fall asleep I guess, because the next thing I knew I was waking up when Matt got out of bed. I sat up surprised, and it was awful. I wish I could explain how the feelings were, but it's really hard. They were very strong, and had to do with balance that's about all I can say.

I had to get up and walk around and then played solitare on the computer for about 20 min. I actually felt normal again, so I tried going to sleep. It worked and I was fine, until I woke up this morning.

The sensations were there, but not as bad as last night. I got up to do the usual feeding of the creatures, and by the time I came back to bed I felt fine. In fact I was feeling really good while I searched around on Flickr.

It wasn't until a couple hours later, when the balance crap started again. This seems to be a pattern. I am fine after walking around in the morning. Come back to bed, fool around on the computer for a couple hours while Matt sleeps and then right before he gets up I start feeling yucky. Weird.

Anyway the unpleasant sensations stayed with me for my shower, and while getting ready. In fact I felt yucky for quite awhile. I ate lunch and luckily I was fine while sitting on the couch, but walking around and standing still were really hard.

Finally I decided to go downstairs and finish my collages. Well that did it. I was fine after that. In fact I've felt pretty decent the rest of the day. I do feel twinges here and there, and I think it's coming back on again, but so far it's pretty much stayed away.

I tell you though, I am sick of this. Just 3 months ago, I didn't have this issue so severe. I know I've had balance problems for some years now, but they were always the same. The symptoms didn't really change, as far as I can remember.

Now though it's insane. I feel as if I'm moving when I'm not, falling when I lie down, being pushed down or over when I stand up, like I'm on a boat in a storm while sitting in chairs, couches, cars, and beds, like I have a pressure cooker in my head that is threatening to explode when I stand up, and that I can't stand still without swaying or feeling like I'm going to fall down, especially while talking to people.

This is exactly how I'm feeling!!! There! I put it into words. All these things can and do happen at any given time during the day, no matter what's going on, or whether I'm feeling normal or not. In fact lots of times I will be feeling good, and then the next thing I know it kicks in. It's so very weird. Not to mention sad.

To top it all off, I'm now getting a weird almost spacey feeling sometimes. It's like I'm detached from reality for a bit. I know everyone will say this is that depersonalization stuff, and maybe it is, but it comes with the balance issues a lot.

Despite all this, I did mange to finish a couple collages today, and I started working on another that I started several months ago. I'm a little discouraged with that one, so I'm sitting the rest of the night out.

Now, If you'll excuse me I must watch my shows.