I'm tired of being hungry

Whew, what a day! Woke up at 4:30 am hungry. Could not sleep without making something to eat, so I had an english muffin. I hate that! All I want to do is sleep and in the middle of the night I have to get up and eat. This lasted all darn day. No matter what or how much I ate, I could not get full. In fact I'm hungry now.

Anyway, when I woke up for work I was slightly off balance, but it was so slight, that I almost wasn't sure if it was real. So that wasn't too big an issue. My biggest problem was needing food all day.

Work was going along great until I heard that I had a meeting scheduled with my supervisor and office manager. Obviously I wasn't surprised, and I totally expected it, yet I was told 2 1/2 hours beforehand! Guess what I did that whole time? Yep. I totally stressed out, and worried about being trapped in the tiny office with my superiors and not being able to leave if I freaked out.

I was having some bad feelings, but mostly just nerves and shakiness. Not really balance issues, which was weird as I fully expected that to kick in, seeing how scared I was.

Well, the time finally rolled around for my talk, and thank god it wasn't bad at all! I was really really nervous at first, but it was so a case of the waiting/worrying being the worst part. Besides not freaking out, we actually had a good talk. And I came clean about my anxiety, which I'm totally relieved about now, as I feel that finally a few things must make sense. Also I can be honest now, when things are going bad, so I'm really happy about that. We actually talked about me taking a leave of absence to get "straightened out" with my anxiety. I don't need to, but I'm really leaning towards doing this, as work is a huge stresser for me.

After that, I completely calmed down, and when I got home was able to take a nap again without issue. The only problem is that after I woke up, I started feeling bad. waking up was fine, but about 10 minutes later, the weirdness started. I was getting that strange feeling in my face, like I'm dizzy but I'm not. I don't know how to describe it, but it makes moving around hard. Like bending down, and looking around, and walking even. Just weird. That has lasted for most of the night. It's better now though, thank goodness.

The other thing I did tonight was I set up a small art station in my writing room. I figure I designed this room as a special place for me to be in. It has everything I want, and I really would like to come in here sometimes and do some art. I don't always like going downstairs in the mold and cold, so I this space I made tonight will be for simple stuff like art journaling etc. I'm pretty excited about this. It will work out great on the days, we don't want to go downstairs.

Alright I can't take it any longer, I must eat something. Besides it's time for me to start getting ready for bed.

Thank god tomorrow is Friday!!!