TGIF!!!

Thank goodness today was better than yesterday. Actually yesterday was okay, except for that stupid headache. Ick.

So I woke up feeling good again and I had a decent day at work. I did have troubles, a couple hours into my shift, when the world started rocking on me again. I ignored it the best I could by drawing and concentrating on my actual work which helped, but when I went to take my break, I felt awful.

It's so strange how that works. I'm actually released from work for 15 minutes and I end up feeling worse than I did at work. We walked over to Jamba Juice and the whole time it was hard, not only that, but when we got there I had a hard time standing, so I sat down, well that was a mistake because it felt like I was on acid again. It was like the world is moving but I'm not. Almost like it's breathing in and out but I'm still. Maybe I'm having flashbacks, without the laughter, who knows.

Walking back to work was worse, and by the time I got there, I was all worked up. Strangely enough, I calmed down when I got back to my little station. The rest of the time was spent doing work and coping with anxiety. Sometimes I felt fine and then it would crop up again. So I coped by doing my work, and if I didn't have that I drew, or got up and walked around a bit.

It wasn't great, but it worked enough and finally my shift ended and we went straight to the park to feed the rooster which is always fun. On our way home though I felt really weird. It was like I was having that detached feeling again. I can really feel it in my face, my arms and my stomach. Don't ask. I can not explain more than that, except to say I just feel not totally real.

This lasted even after we got home, and then I thought what if I'm actually relaxed and I can't tell, because it's been so long? I mean in a way I really did feel relaxed. I wasn't having balance issues, I could breathe, heart wasn't racing, I wasn't dizzy, etc. It was like I was super tired, and I think that may have been part of the problem, because I took a nap, and actually slept. What's more, I woke up feeling good. And even better, I felt great the rest of the night.

Until now. Now I feel the balance shit, while sitting in the chair again as I type. I'm getting sick to my stomach, and I have to stop soon, but honestly before I started this post, I felt great!

In fact, I've been in my room drawing and coloring in images for my altered book that I'm trying to make.

Anyway, I can't stand the rocking anymore, so I'll go watch my shows and then go to bed. Thank god it's Wednesday, and I don't have to work the next 3 days!!!