I'm pooped

Whew what a day!!! Well, I woke up great. In fact, I felt so good all morning, that I decided to go to the gas station, right away, to get my daily errand over with.

Well as soon as I took off down the road, the nerves hit me. By the time I made it to the gas station I couldn't breathe well, and I was shaky. I wasn't sure how this would work out, but since there was an empty pump, I decided to give it a shot.

It was touch and go, but I actually did it! I didn't really have balance problems, but I was nervous and shaky throughout the whole 2 minutes it took to fill up. I was feeling pretty proud of myself, so I thought why not try the grocery store, across the street.

As luck would have it, there just so happened to be a parking spot right at the door, so I had to give it a try right? Well I walked in and the conditions were perfect. No body in line, hardly anyone in the store, I was feeling pretty decent, etc. I sped to the milk section, and a bee line for the check out, but not soon enough. Two people got there ahead of me, and one had quite a basket full. Ugh.

Immediately I got scared, and my balance was off. The whole time I kept thinking what will I do if I have to escape? Do I leave the milk on the belt and just run for it? Do I make an excuse and ask them to put it away? Do I try to trek back to the fridge all the way across the store and do it myself? The questions were endless.

Turns out, I didn't have to do any of those, because I actually made it through the whole ordeal. Boy was I feeling extra special then! Two errands in one day!!

I was still shaky when I got home, but I was super pleased with myself. I played Mario just to bring me down a bit, and then went to work on some art. I had a great anxiety free day, until it was time to leave to go over the hill for my appointment. We actually went early since Matt wanted to visit some boring stores.

Unfortunately I started feeling the seasick feelings, while going over the hill, and even after the stores a bit. I had Mario with me, so I played my games the whole time he was shopping and it is the perfect device. Not only for anxiety, but for boredom too. He could spend all day at HSC as long as I have a game to play!

After the second store, (which I must admit I was having trouble when we went in-pressure cooker wise), I was fine.

Then we went to the psych. Yes I was nervous, but not too bad considering. I played my game in the waiting room and then I had my session. She knew ahead of time, my fears of being trapped, so that helped a lot. Overall the session went really well. I was scared the whole time (2 hours!!!!!!!), and having some major balance problems, but I did okay. I definitely could have been worse, and she was really very nice, patient and took a ton of time getting to know my issues.

Now that it's over though, I'm totally wiped out. I'm so tired and I have a headache. Oh yeah and on the way home, we got stuck in a huge traffic jam! NO fun. Although I did pretty well surprisingly. I was nervous, out of habit rather than actually experiencing any bad symptoms.

Alright I'm done for the night. I need to eat again, something soft I suspect since I lost part of a tooth chewing gum today. Yeah. I did not expect that. But you know what? The cavity that was there isn't bothering my anymore. HA! I guess I'll have to go to a dentist to get it fixed someday, but not now. Talk about feeling trapped. Sheesh!