Fear Factor Day 2

Well, I can certainly say my days are full! Sheesh, with this new system I hardly have time at all to do nothing. I'm actually really liking this, I feel much more accomplished, and I'm still doing things to goof off, like reading blogs, playing games and art.

Today went pretty good. I had ups and downs for sure, but overall not too shabby. I'll try to highlight the main points. Oh yeah, I'm also keeping a little log, and writing down how I'm feeling and what I did, throughout the day. Not all the time, but when I think of it, and especially when I'm not feeling well, because I want to see if there are any correlations to anxiety or really anything at all. Plus I also want to keep track of whether or not my coping skills are helping, and so far they seem to be.

Okay, first off, I woke up well again! In fact I felt so good throughout the morning that I decided right after lunch to go to the store. I was fine until I started driving down the road, and then I got super nervous, but just nervous, not any other symptoms so I kept going.

I even made it in the store, and cruised by the bread aisle since we needed bread, and it was closest to the checkout. No dice, they didn't have what I wanted which meant I needed to go all they to the back of the store to get milk. Scary! I only got one jug in case I freaked out and couldn't make it to the checkout. I figure If I get in the store, I better come home with some kind of souvenir. Plus I can try to conquer my line phobia as well.

I was doing good until I got in line. Now I was lucky that the lady in front of me, had already finished, yet she was gabbing away to the cashier lady, so naturally I got nervous, and in two seconds it escalated to panic, I need to leave mode. But I didn't. I got my darn milk and then left.

When I got home, I was sick to my stomach and nervous still, but happy my chore was done, so I played my game a bit which helped a lot, but when I got up I couldn't walk. This time because my back was messed up. ooops. I'm not sure what I did, but for 15 minutes or so I had to scoot around and couldn't straighten up, not even to reach the oreo cookies, which is what I was after in the first place. Poo.

I was feeling pretty good despite my injury, and so I fooled around trying to pick my collages for the art show, and then watched two of my new art classes online. For some reason though afterwards I felt yucky again, so I went for a walk around the block, and I actually felt good. No real worries, I did have my phone with me though.

When I got back I went to work on a new canvas, but unfortunately I was feeling off again, and after prepping it, I came upstairs to let it dry and my balance was crazy. I had a hard time walking around, and it felt like the world was moving around me as I walked.

So I did my pranayamas and meditation, which made me feel loads better, while I was doing them. I was completely relaxed, but I must have gotten up too fast afterwards because when I did, I felt unsteady and strange. So I played Mario again. Of course I felt fine while playing, but after I was done, I felt bad again. Ugh.

About this time, Matt wanted to get out and do some exercise, so we went down the road by the library and went for a walk. Well I walked and Matt tried to run. His ankle is still weak, but he managed pretty good. I was limping along alright too, but my leg was giving me trouble again. I don't really care about that though, as long as I don't have anxiety which I didn't, I'm fine.

On the way back, we stopped to pet a cow, who got over excited with all the attention and accidently stepped on my foot. In case you don't know, It really hurts! Despite this though, we had a really good walk, and the whole time I felt totally normal.

As soon as we got back home, we took Monkey out, and I left the two boys around the corner and went back home, for 20 minutes by myself. This time I did really well. I had no issues, and in fact I was surprised to see Matt coming back so soon. Usually I'm kinda keeping an eye out for them, but today I was too busy and hardly noticed.

The rest of the night was spent making brownies, doing art and playing Mario for fun. It's been really good and I've felt great. The thing is, I sort of feel funny while writing this post. A touch off balance, but It's not too bad.

Anyway, I'm pooped. It's just about time to watch my favorite Odd Couple so I'm off for anther day.