Things are a little better now

Well I feel better now that I had a meltdown tonight. I do not know where that came from, but all of a sudden I was feeling very low about myself, and the anxiety and my ability to get through this. Matt and I ended up having a long talk, and it was good.

Overall today was a good day. I had my ups and downs for sure, but it wasn't that bad. Felt good again upon waking up! This is very good. I even didn't have too much trouble while I was surfing the blogs in bed.

The real trouble started when we went to Johnnies. Man I don't know what it is with that place, but the anxiety/balance issues kicked in big time. Funny thing was I was pretty much fine in the hardware store, two minutes beforehand. I even wandered off on my own. I felt a little off balance, but that's because the floors are crazy slanted in there, It's like going for a hike, so that's to be expected.

In Johnnies though, I started out fine, I passed the cookies, and made it to the milk section when I turned around to look back at something, and then the funny business started. Balance issues galore. All of a sudden it was like I could hardly walk. Everything I do has to be extra careful, and it feels like it takes a huge effort to do it, even if it's just grabbing a couple jugs of milk.

We wandered around a bit, trying to decide what to do for dinner and then finally got in line. My coping strategy was to just deal with it basically, I let it be and carried on with the shopping as best I could. I didn't want to bust out a game or sing a song in the middle of the grocery store, so I dealt with it. Of course when we got home, it went away pretty fast.

Then we went on a walk with the cat, and lo and behold we ran into yet another chatty neighbor. Of course I had trouble standing and talking, and at some points it really felt like I couldn't deal much longer, but thank goodness, Lily came by, and wanted to be pet. She was a good distraction for the times when I felt really bad. Just bending down and petting her, got me out of that I can't stand a moment longer feeling.

Luckily things got better, because after the walk we went downstairs and I started 3 collages. I finished one really cool Halloween one, and have two more half finished. I started to get frustrated, because the colors just weren't coming out right, so I just walked away. I'm finding that only time, can make these collages better, so that is what I do now. Leave and do something else. Works pretty good.

Except for my unexpected meltdown after dinner, the rest of the night went fine as we prepared for submitting my art to the gallery next week, and I worked on new paintings. What's more, I feel pretty darn good!

Well I'm hungry, and the Odd Couple is calling me, so I'm off for the night. So so glad I don't work tomorrow!