Oh boy

Today was terrible anxiety wise. It started while getting ready to go over the hill this morning. First I thought I couldn't breathe, then the balance stuff started. I felt a little better while driving over, but when we got to the park to feed the rooster, I noticed I was still kinda bad.

We had to go to Matt's work, and I was pretty nervous about that, since I was feeling weird, but I did okay there, especially since I had my milkshake and nintendo to play. Totally helped and I was fine, while there.

After we left we were off to meet my step mom who is in town on business for dinner. Well I was sort of apprehensive seeing as she and my dad know nothing about my anxiety issues, so I was sort of worried how I would react, since escaping if need be would be really hard.

When we got to the hotel, the balance shit kicked in real quick just getting out of the car, but then once we got going and visiting I did fine. At the burrito place I was good. No issues. But, then we got back to the hotel to eat our food, and holy moley, shit hit the fan.

I felt like I was constantly swaying in my chair, my eyes were playing tricks on me in the dark, and sometimes it would look like the world was moving around me, and other times it seemed it was coming at me. Needless to say, sitting in the chair at the table was horrible! I was BAD, like I really thought I would fall, I was crazy unsteady, and of course I worried about that constantly.

I couldn't say anything either, and that made it worse. By the time we left though I had calmed down a bit, but man it sure was a tricky evening. I'm still recuperating, and in fact had to play my game when I got home. I've got a horrible headache now, and just need to relax. That took so much out of me, and it's a shame, because it was a nice visit, and it's always fun. I'm bummed the anxiety hit so bad, but then again it was that kind of day today.

I sure hope tomorrow is better, because we need to work in the gallery and then my family is coming up for dinner at the German restaurant, oh boy not sure how that will be. Last time it was a nightmare.