I can relax now

Well my day is going much nicer after now. I worried and fretted all last night, and half today about my doctor appointment. I didn't think I would even get to the appointment, but my mom made sure that I did. I really had to take everything in baby steps. Like just getting over the hill to meet my mom, then getting in the car to drive to the office, then getting up the stairs and in the door, etc. It helped but I was still petrified.

When I got there, I seriously thought I wouldn't be able to make it. Truly I was going to walk out, I was shaking so hard, and my heart rate was 121!!! Not good. I felt like crap, and the stupid thing is, I'm not afraid of the doctor or the procedures, and the even stupider part is, I know exactly how the exam will go, as I do it every year, and that it takes maybe 10-15 minutes. Tops. And of course, except the anxiety symptoms that kicked in the second I was escorted to the room, the visit was fine.

Ugh! I'm so glad it's over, because it's been playing with my emotions this past week. Of course I feel better, but I did have residual effects for hours and even now at times afterwards. I really need to get control of this anxiety. It's pretty darn ridiculous.