Is it Friday already?

Alright, so today wasn't anxiety free, but I still did pretty darn good. I woke up fine again. In fact, I was feeling pretty great, until we left to go to the post office to mail my Alice in Wonderland piece to the magazine.

I don't know what came over me, but I got really scared. It started with the detached feeling, and grew from there, in fact as we were rounding the corner to the post office, I almost said,' let's just go back home'. But I didn't. I was very frightened though.

Weird. Anyway, we mailed the package, and yes we stood in line for quite awhile actually, and believe it or not, I did well. Uncomfortable at times, but no major balance issues like usual. We ran a few more errands, and I began to relax a bit. I still felt off and on out of touch, but it wasn't bad.

Even after getting home, it stayed with me most of the day. However, it would come and go, and If I really distracted myself well, I felt okay.

I had to play my game a few times for coping skills, but finally around 6 pm, I decided to venture out on my own and go to the ATM. We won't go into the swearing and yelling that occurred while driving that darn forsaken stick shift, and the less said about me falling backwards repeatedly while trying to get up a hill in neutral the better. Let's just say, I was very irritated. That helped quite a bit actually, because I wasn't nervous driving at all. Once I got on the darn road.

Though once I got to the ATM, and had to wait in line, and then someone got behind me, well then the anxiety kicked in. It was all I could do to complete my transaction. I think if no one was behind me, I would have been able to relax better, but I kept thinking what if I can't do this, and fall or something? Totally stupid I know, but after I was done, I zoomed away as fast I could.

Back on the road though I was more calm, and even decided to stop into the grocery store for exposure. I was going to get an avocado, but it was jam packed with people, and only one checker, so I said forget it. I went in and wandered around, and that was good enough for today.

I came back home traumatized from driving a stick shift, but otherwise I was fine.

I spent the rest of the night doing not much of anything, fooling around in Photoshop altering pictures for my art, and visiting art blogs. I finally went downstairs and finished that horrible piece from yesterday, and of course, I totally love it now. I so can't trust my own judgement.

The one I did tonight, was starting to become anther disaster, but I fooled around with it some, and actually ended up finger painting, instead of my usual collage look. It came out pretty cool. I think I'm somewhat satisfied with it.

Well tomorrow is the open studio tour, and I'm not sure how I'll do anxiety wise, but I'm certainly going to give it a try. It will be neat to find other artists in the area.

Okay I'm off to eat and watch my daily dose of Oscar and Felix.