Live In The Moment

So today wasn't too bad. I woke up feeling good again. Thank goodness. It's so nice to feel normal when waking, it really sets the mood for my day. I have more confidence about my anxiety when I start the day feeling good.

I had a few incidents with balance, dizziness, and even the pressure cooker feeling, that so could have blown up into bad anxiety, but didn't. I'm starting to tell myself, it's okay to have those feelings. I feel the first initial panic when the first feelings of symptoms hit, but then I'm able to calm down, and be okay knowing it's anxiety and that It will pass, especially if I don't indulge it.

I saw a quote the other day that I totally forgot about, but really applies to anxiety symptoms. "If you resist it persists." Simple as that, and so true. The more you obsess on something the worse it gets, and the longer it stays, so I'm really trying hard not to let it get to me.

In fact we even ate in a restaurant today! Usually I want to do takeout, because I feel trapped in restaurants, but today I said to heck with it, and just did it. It was fine. I overate a little and when I waddled out the door I felt that pressure/rush feeling plus some dizziness, and it was a little hard to navigate around the tables, (no I hadn't been drinking) but I made it safely back to the car and to Petroglyph where we worked on our projects for a couple hours. And yes, the feelings went away.

And as usual I made it to Powell's by myself for my weekly gelato. I even got nervous standing in line, but it didn't last very long.

So I'm doing better again. The only thing that's bugging me, is those darn red spots. Especially the one with the ring around it. I so hope it's not Lyme Disease. And since I'm a wanna be hypocondriac Matt thinks I'm crazy to worry or even think it could be that, but the truth is, it does look like the pictures I saw.

The only thing that doesn't fit is that I have about 30 other red spots on me, that don't have the ring around it, so it's either a huge coincedence and I have two different things happening, or It's all related. In which case I really hope it's something not harmful like bedbugs. And yes, the rest of the spots look like they could be bed bug bites.

Whatever, I'm feeling fine otherwise, and I have no fever, so I'm trying to ignore them and hope for the best. One good thing is that the one on my arm, which is one of the first ones I noticed about a week ago, but didn't think anything of it at the time, is starting to fade. In fact when I looked at it again tonight I almost couldn't see it at all. So it's hopeful that they will just dissapper altogether.

So again, a pretty uneventful anxiety day. Or I should say the symptoms where there, but this time they didn't get too far, because I wouldn't let them!