Art Therapy

Well, let's see, last night was one of the worst nights I've had in quite some time. It was so bad, in fact that it's in the top ten of shitty nights, and unfortunately, It stuck with me for most of the day today.

I'm trying to make this short, so I'll get straight to the point. Dinky didn't do well last night. I must have called work 3 times for advice. We hardly got any sleep because of worrying and needing to watch him, so it was a pretty restless night.

The good news is, he's better today. Not great, but better, and more like himself, though his balance is still bad. It's pretty scary, because no one really knows what's going on, and I want to think it's the neuropathy, but the doctors are hesitant to pin the symptoms on that, instead saying it may be another more serious neuro thing. So not what I need to hear by the way!

Anyway this day was filled with stress. I called into work, so we could stay home and watch him, and I'm so glad we did, because had he come down with us, and stayed in a little cage we wouldn't really be able to see how he was doing, since he's so stressed at the vet and just sits in his litter box anyway.

So since our days were filled babysitting the dink, and I couldn't get away from the stress, my anxiety mounted ten fold. I felt like I used to back in the bad old days, before I started therapy. I had to try several ways to cope. The first thing I did was find a cool game to play. I figured that would be an excellent distraction. It worked pretty well too, until it crashed my computer. Ooops!

After that I thought it might be best if I did something else for a while, so I decided to browse my favorite art blogs and look for new ideas and techniques. Well that worked pretty well, as I managed to suck up almost the whole day and evening doing that. Then I felt guilty for not doing anything productive. Go figure.

Anyway, right around 9 o clock I started to feel pretty bummed out again about the whole cat situation, my anxiety issues, and how I"m just not ready for this again after dealing with Leopold so recently. So I had a meltdown. That helped a little.

I tried to cheer myself up by checking out more blogs, and then finally I downloaded another game. Nope I did not learn from the last time. I think it may be messing up my computer still, but It's a pretty cool game so I'm not going to take it off. Yet.

The game kept me occupied but I was still depressed and feeling worse by the minute. In fact I found myself rushing through the game so I could go do something else. What, I don't know. But, after reading all the art blogs today, I was feeling the need to create, yet I was so down I felt it wasn't a good time to do so.

Although I should know from experience that sometimes that is the perfect time, because you are so emotional that creativity just spills out of you like a fountain.

Which I'm happy to say is what happened tonight. I started out half heartedly and even had another meltdown, but then I started to really cook with gas, and totally found a new background technique, which I was so thrilled about, that I went on and did like six more pages . I'm actually waiting for one to dry so I can try doing transfers. I figured while I was waiting so impatiently, I could be doing something else productive, like writing my anxiety blog.

So there you go a very condensed version of my crappy day, but right now it has a happy ending as creating art has definitely lifted my spirits tremendously. Thank goodness!