Update

eeek! I haven't written my blog in 2 days! The first day I forgot, then yesterday Matt absconded with computer last night, and took it completely apart trying to fix the screen issue, which took hours. By the time I got it back, unfixed, I wasn't up to it. It was close to 2 in the morning, I was in pain, from my tooth, and just trying to get comfortable enough to go to bed.

Today, I almost forgot again! But as I was doing my points just now, I realized I best be writing my posts.

Let's see, what happened today? Well to start with we went to San Francisco. This would have been a much more pleasurable experience, had we, one, not left too late, and two, had I not gotten the worst cramps complete with flooding, the minute we got into the city.

It was so bad, after about a half hour, I told Matt to turn around and go home. There was no way, I was going to be able to enjoy anything, sitting, standing, walking etc. I was so frustrated because we had finally made it out there, I wasn't having anxiety, and my tooth was actually behaving itself, so when the cramps started, It was the last straw. I mean it's like there is always something with me. I can't just feel good.

Just as we started getting close to the freeway, the cramps subsided a bit. So we turned around and went back. I really did not want to go home. I was totally looking forward to being in the city, and was really hoping to get some inspiration for art., since I've totally been unmotivated lately.

Unfortunately we wasted quite a bit of time getting across the city, three times, that by the time we made it to our first destination-the Squat and Gobble on Haight-it was nearly 4:30. Pooh. Plus, it gets dark at 5:30 and it's Sunday so things close early.

We never made it to any galleries or anything remotely art related, but we did have a good dinner/breakfast and found a few cool shops on the way back to the car, to get me stuff at. Not actually a problem on Haight though as there are tons of cool stores.

I did have some anxiety though. At first I was fine, but as we got to the restaurant, I got nervous, since we would be "trapped" waiting for our food, blah blah blah. Well I got through the restaurant bit pretty good, but afterwards while walking around, the nerves really hit. It was almost a repeat of the last time we were there, and I started to panic a bit, just trying to make our way through the crowds, and looking around tiny crowded stores. The last two we went to, I found cool stuff for me, and calmed down a bit, but was still nervous until the very end.

It all turned out good, and since it was kinda too late to do the stuff we wanted to do, we made our way home, which I'm proud to say the way there and back were very non issues for me. No anxiety at all!! That's progress, especially since we haven't been there in forever!

Oh yeah and yesterday was a good day too. I even let Matt get a hair cut while I waiting it the lobby area. I could still see him, wasn't really worried. I played my games and before I knew it he was done. Then we went to Bucca de Beppo, where I almost got nervous, but decided not too, we had a good time. I've been doing a lot better with my symptoms too. I feel the balance stuff come on here and there, but I'm trying extremely hard not to get worked up about it, and luckily they have been going away.

So tomorrow, Matt has a dentist appointment for a teeth cleaning and I am worried about that, because there he will be being worked on and if I panic we can't just leave. I'm really hoping my mom will be home, so I can just drive over there and wait til he's done, but she may not be. Then I have my consultation with the other dentist in the afternoon, and oddly I'm more nervous about Matt's appointment then mine. See I know I can leave when I want, and not only that he isn't doing anything but talking to me, so I'm not too scared of that. In fact I'm hoping to convince him to give me a root canal. I really don't want my tooth pulled, but I think I can handle a root canal.

Okay enough of that, my tooth is throbbing again, so I'm outta here. Ouch!


Update, I tried posting this last night (tonight), but blogger is not working.