Sunday Stuff

Boy I've been really lucky with the pain lately. For some reason, it has mostly gone away. Until, that is, I eat. It used to be that eating helped, and would actually relieve the bad sensations, but now, just one bite of food will send astonishingly bad pain straight to my brain. In fact I had to take Tylenol and use a hot pack to the face, just to eat my mac and cheese last night. One of the softest foods on the planet.

Though I must say, it hasn't stopped me eating ice cream, even though my facial muscles become momentarily paralyzed in a puckering position, and my eyeballs roll into the back of my head, while sharp stabby pains consume the whole left side of my face. Eventually it goes away enough for me to scarf down the rest of my frozen creamy goodness, but afterward all hell breaks loose, while my poor nerves settle down from the onslaught of freezing cold.

You know I'm kinda thinking of putting off my root canal now, because I can't help but see this as a sure fire opportunity to loose those 30 pounds that I have accumulated since I hurt my back two years ago. Especially now that the holidays are near. What a way to keep trim right? I'm pretty sure this would work.

What? Not a good idea?

Anyhoo, let's move on. Yesterday was a good one. We gallery sat from 3-6, and I worked on a painting, and generally had a good relaxing time. No issues this time, and I was totally comfortable. So comfortable in fact, that I walked to the market across the street by myself and went shopping. I didn't just pick up one thing either, I actually roamed around the store (yes it was sort of quickly) but without fear, and grabbed my items. Then I had to wait in line, since there were two people ahead of me, but I did fine. Now if I could just keep my brain from thinking "what if I panic", It would have been perfect.

And today, was another good day. Went to Pacifica to eat at Gorilla's BBQ that we saw on Diners, Drive ins and Dives, and yep it was good. Now the wierd thing is just as we got to the turn to the parking lot, I started to feel disoriented a bit. Like a mini out of body experience, and I easily could have panicked and had major problems, but I didn't.

Not only that, but when we got to the place, which is nothing but a train car, we had to wait in an enormous line, in a very tiny spot. But guess what? I totally did fine!! No major issues. The only problem was I was super hungry and I kept worrying about getting that bad hungry fainty feeling, but luckily we got our food in time.

After we ate, we went to SF, and I admit I was feeling a bit nervous since I was full and having a tiny bit of a hard time breathing, and I kept thinking I was dizzy, even though I really wasn't. No matter it didn't ruin anything.

We went for a walk in Golden Gate Park looking for this mysterious cafe place we ran across one night on our bikes, and at that point I felt a little unease as we got further from the car. Especially when we got to a really narrow point that was obviously where the homeless folks slept, and call me a chicken but I got nervous going through there. I didn't want to come up on anyone and make them mad for tromping through their house. Now normally, I wouldn't have worried so much and probably would have thought it quite adventurous, but with the Big A things are different, so of course I sort of had a really mini panic moment.

We eventually made our way back, and found ourselves at the beach where there was some drumming action going on that Matt wanted to check out. It was very cool as it was a lovely evening. The sun was just going down, tons of folks were on the beach with bonfires, it was totally clear, and the "music" was playing. It was very cool.

Unfortunately I could not completely relax, because during the walk I felt out of breath, and it carried into this experience, so I kept thinking and worrying about my breathing. Of course it was all anxiety, and I knew it then, but it still hung around. Luckily I enjoyed myself still, and we didn't leave because of it. In fact we stayed for quite awhile, long after the sun went down and I started to freeze just a little bit.

We then explored the city a bit looking for an ice cream parlor and lo and behold we actually found one, somewhat close by. I got my fix and then we went home.

Pretty good day. And it was very nice to get out of the house, and feel like there is life outside of work, and worry, and the Food Network.